'Sneaks' review: Pixar called—they want their plot back

Courtesy of Braircliff Entertainment

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I’m at a genuine loss for what to say about “Sneaks.” It blew my socks off in almost every negative way possible. And if you liked that pun, there are a thousand more where that came from in a movie where the jokes don’t even make sense.

I’ll admit, I don’t know much about sneaker culture. It’s not really something I have a lot of experience with. However, I’m not entirely sure watching “Sneaks” will help anyone else understand it either.

Essentially a clone of “Toy Story 2,” the movie follows a pair of highly exclusive sneakers—cantankerous Ty (Anthony Mackie) and free-spirited Maxine (Chloe Bailey)—who are stolen and separated from their teenage owner Edison (Swae Lee) by a nefarious figure known only as The Collector (Laurence Fishburne). Ty must team up with a streetwise but untrustworthy sneak named JB (Martin Lawrence) to rescue his sister and make it back home in time for the big Midnight Madness basketball game.

I’m not sure how co-director and writer Rob Edwards didn’t get the memo about Pixar doing this 25 years ago, but this honestly feels like a Pixar clone gone horribly wrong.

I could forgive the recycled plot if it felt vibrant and original, but aside from some extremely colorful opening credits, the entire movie is visually bland. “Sneaks” tries to emulate a stylized, stop-motion-inspired, frame-skipping animation style (a la “Spider-Verse”), but without any rich detail in its set pieces or character design. Instead of giving the film flair, the style only highlights how lazy and lifeless everything looks.

One of the recurring motifs is a generic U-Haul truck labeled simply “MOVE” in the most monotone font imaginable. This truck appears constantly, like a Pizza Planet Truck stripped of all charm and detail. Even “The King of Kings” had a more textured atmosphere than this so-called love letter to urban life and street culture.

And then there’s the voice acting. Atrocious. It honestly sounds like they used the first take of every line and just called it a day. Even seasoned actors like Mackie, Fishburne, and Lawrence sound either hammy, apathetic, or completely garbled. The only one who feels even remotely invested is Keith David—but that’s probably more a testament to Keith David just being Keith David.

At one point, a character laughs at the end of a joke—unnaturally, by the way—and their lips don’t even move. I have no proof, but it genuinely feels like someone slipped a blooper take into the final cut and hoped nobody would notice.

A sneaker literally gets cut in half and dies—spread eagle—and between the wooden voice acting, awful writing, and lifeless animation, you feel nothing. That’s the level of bad we’re dealing with.

The only remotely good thing about this movie is what I assume was intended as a surprise twist involving The Collector’s motivations. There’s a flicker of a good idea there. Honestly, if the film had focused solely on that weird, “Megamind”-esque supervillain angle—without the sentient sneakers—we might’ve had a better movie. Not great, maybe not even good, but at least something more unique than this soulless mess.

“Sneaks” is one of the worst films I’ve seen in a long time—possibly ever. While there are a few kernels of a better movie buried at the bottom, the label is forged and there are so many plot holes, you’re practically wearing flip-flops. Walk a mile in my shoes—and then run far away from this one.

Grade: D+ 

SNEAKS opens in theaters Friday, April 18th

About the Author

Luke Durling has deep passion for all things animation, and is thrilled to have the chance to share his thoughts with you. If you enjoyed this review, feel free to explore his other work at calmandcultured.com.