Review: '2 Hearts' a manipulative and clumsy tearjerker

Courtesy of Freestyle Releasing

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About five minutes into the melodramatic tearjerker “2 Hearts,” when Jacob Elordi began delivering one of the cheesiest voice overs in recent memory and the hospital gurney showed up, it was clear that I hopped on a sinking ship. How this Hallmark movie was repackaged for a theatrical release is beside me, though I can’t see the commercial prospects being that fruitful, especially as “2 Hearts” is getting tossed like a bone to starving exhibitors.

Based on a true story, “2 Hearts” unravels two parallel love stories between the college-aged Chris (Elorida) and that of another, much older man, Jorge (Adan Canto) which take place in different timelines. The film awkwardly jumps back and forth between Chris’s days as a college freshman, and his courtship with fellow student Sam (Tiera Skovbye) and Jorge, the wealthy heir to a Cuban distiller, and Leslie (Radha Mitchell) a flight attendant whom he falls madly in love with. 

Neither of these loosely intertwined narratives are particularly memorable with the groan inducing dialogue sticking out like a sore thumb. It probably doesn’t help that none of the lovebirds have chemistry and their performances are so stale and wooden, you wonder how it didn’t end up on cable TV or in the background of a commercial for arthritis. Once you find out how these characters are connected – after the divulge of obligatory parent conflicts and cheap Soulja Boy references – it’s apparent the filmmakers behind “2 Hearts” think its audience clueless. 

Though you wouldn’t know this until the closing shot, this film exists to celebrate the life of Jorge Barcadi (yes, the rum company) and his charitable organization that helps people all across the world (to maintain the film’s surprises, I’ve chosen not to reveal those details). But does it really matter? Lance Hool’s picture comes from Freestyle Releasing who brought us the cinematic gems “Left Behind” and “God’s Not Dead” with “2 Hearts” continuing their track record of clumsy, terribly acted, weepies that preach to their core audience and nobody else.

Grade: D-

2 HEARTS open in theaters Friday October 16th

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