‘Moana’ review: Lost at sea in live action

Courtesy of Disney

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Since Disney has mined the coffers of all its major properties, there are slim pickings left to keep the studio’s live-action remake pipeline going. Hence why it has resurrected “Moana,” despite the animated version being only 10 years old and “Moana 2” having just hit theaters last year.

At this point, everyone understands why these movies exist and, frankly, I’ve always preached that we get the movies we deserve. Disney wouldn’t keep making them if people didn’t show up, and yet, almost every time, they do. So here we are with “Moana,” which is basically Gus Van Sant’s “Psycho” in that it’s essentially a shot-for-shot remake without much of the vibrancy or cultural richness of the original.

It’s perfectly serviceable and, to an extent, even watchable as big-screen content. After all, the story remains as accessible as ever: a Polynesian princess teams up with a demigod to restore life and save her island. It’s the reason children fell in love with this Disney heroine in the first place, alongside a soundtrack that has gone triple platinum in toddler circles thanks to songs like “You’re Welcome,” “How Far I’ll Go,” and yes, even “Shiny.”

What animation afforded the original was an endlessly vibrant color palette, and it’s immediately apparent how much is lost in the transition to live action. Everything feels like it was shot on a green screen because, well, most of it was. The movie’s lifeblood, the ocean itself, never feels inviting. Worse, there’s little sense of appreciation for Polynesian culture. Instead, it’s a strangely dark, sterile experience that’s only mildly amusing, if only to watch Dwayne Johnson reprise Maui while sporting a head of hair that looks like it was superglued into place.

Ironically, the only tangible things on screen are the people themselves. Catherine Laga’aia makes a strong feature debut as Moana, stepping in for Auli’i Cravalho, who voiced the character in the animated films and, considering she was one of the few original cast members not to return, was probably handed an executive producer credit as a consolation prize.

Johnson slips comfortably back into Maui, the wisecracking, self-absorbed demigod who still gets the movie’s biggest crowd-pleasing moment with “You’re Welcome,” one of the few scenes that captures even a sliver of the original’s spirit. You almost wonder whether they even had to re-record it. Could they have just used the 2016 recording? I doubt most people would notice the difference. The same goes for Jemaine Clement, who returns as the glam-rock-loving crab Tamatoa. Did he really need to come back just to repeat lines he’d already recorded a decade ago? Again, we know why this movie exists.

It’s difficult to recapture the magic of the animated film when nearly every frame is buried beneath lifeless CGI. The scenery never feels lived in, the environments lack texture, and even Heihei, Moana’s pet rooster, never quite feels like he belongs in this world.

Neither, unfortunately, does director Thomas Kail. Best known for directing Broadway productions like Lin-Manuel Miranda’s “Hamilton” and “In the Heights,” Kail makes his narrative feature debut here and feels a bit out of his element.

If you’re going to make the leap from animation to live action, the movie should feel bigger, bolder and more ambitious than what came before. Any remake should. “Moana” ought to feel epic and sprawling, with a distinctive visual identity and enough practical craftsmanship to make this world feel lived in. Instead, it’s another cog in Disney’s remake machine, seemingly designed to remind audiences that the animated version is waiting on Disney+, where it’s remained one of the platform’s most-streamed movies for years.

Honestly, that’s exactly what you should do. Skip this one, stay home, and watch the original.

You’re welcome.

Grade: C

MOANA is now playing in theaters.