'Melania' review: Documentary about the first lady is a colossal waste of time

Courtesy of Amazon MGM Studios

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Regardless of one’s political views, most audiences will likely walk out of the new documentary “Melania” asking a very simple question: What did I actually learn? Oddly budgeted and heavily marketed to the tune of $75 million by Jeff Bezos’ Amazon Studios, the film opened to roughly $8 million in its first weekend, a respectable number for a documentary, but alas Amazon will need to sell plenty of toilet paper to recoup that spend. Directed by disgraced filmmaker Brett Ratner, “Melania” follows the former first lady during the 20 days leading up to Donald Trump’s second inauguration. Despite the promise of unprecedented access, the film rarely breaks new ground or offers meaningful insight into its subject.

Trump himself has praised the film on social media, calling it a “MUST SEE,” and despite the documentary supposedly centering on his wife, his presence looms large. In one scene, as inauguration plans are discussed, the cameras linger on Trump complaining that the National Championship Game falls on the same day and that television networks are conspiring against him. It is a bizarre and telling moment that makes you wonder who this film is really about.

Even though those who support Trump will never believe me, I did approach “Melania” on its merits as a documentary and from a strictly filmmaking standpoint, it is a total calamity. There is minimal sense of discovery, and little emotional depth.

At one point, Melania reflects on the passing of her mother, offering familiar sentiments like “You know one day it will come, but nothing can ever prepare you,” a moment that was very distant and curated, as if filtered through layers of careful self-presentation rather than genuine vulnerability. The film is filled with several staged, awkward interactions like this, ones that fail to reveal anything substantial about who Melania Trump actually is. Surely there is more to her than the stiff, wooden persona presented here, right?

Some viewers will inevitably claim critics walked into “Melania” with preconceived notions, pitchforks in hand and ready to tear it apart. That simply is not the case. I would challenge anyone to watch this film and point to a single moment of genuine revelation or compelling behind-the-scenes drama. The most consequential sequence arrives when Melania observes Trump rehearsing his inauguration speech and suggests adding the word “unifier.” The film then jump cuts to the speech itself, where Trump delivers the line and points at her. This is presented as a dramatic payoff, yet it feels laughably trivial. Apparently, this single word was the documentary’s most riveting piece of insider access! 

Early scenes showing Melania conducting interviews to fill key staff positions are clumsily assembled and poorly edited, resembling a glossy LinkedIn advertisement from hell. This on top of the film starting with a voiceover declaring, “Everyone wants to know, so here it is.” But what exactly are we supposed to be discovering? The logistics behind an inauguration? The process of designing invitations? The tradition of the incoming first family staying at Blair House? Much of this information is already widely available and hardly warrants a feature-length documentary.

There are fleeting moments that hint at a more interesting film, particularly when Melania is fitted for dresses and hats for the inauguration ball. Brief conversations with designers suggest an opportunity to explore her background as a model and her perspective on fashion. Unfortunately, Ratner quickly abandons this thread in favor of bland platitudes like “The White House is a very special place in history” before showing a long, ponderous shot of Melania brooding on a couch watching Fox News’ coverage of the Palisades fire. Nearly every scene feels artificial, carefully polished, and devoid of authenticity. Instead of meaningful exploration, the film wastes time on superficial moments, like a motorcade conversation where Ratner asks the First Lady who her favorite musician is and then abruptly cuts to a montage set to Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean.”

Visually, the cinematography lacks energy or purpose. Jarring edits and juxtapositions add insult to injury, like a scene of Melania adjusting a hat spliced next to staffers removing the Bidens’ belongings from the White House on Inauguration Day, an odd sequence that underscores how out of touch Ratner’s instincts have become. Of course, he is working within the confines of an expensive vanity project, produced by its subject, who collected a ~generous~ $28 million for her troubles. So, as you can imagine, that leaves no room for actual journalistic curiosity or critical examination. As if there was any real action to document anyway. 

Of course, the MAGA world has already embraced the film, with reports of sold-out screenings, applause, and enthusiastic reactions. But from an objective filmmaking standpoint, “Melania” is a hollow exercise in image management rather than a compelling documentary. Even the most devoted fans are unlikely to discover anything here that could not be gleaned from a quick Wikipedia search. The film exists largely because Trump wanted it, and for many viewers, that alone will be enough. For everyone else, history will likely render a far harsher verdict.

Grade: D-

MELANIA is now playing in theaters.